Fitness for WickedFire Members – How To Destroy Asshats Named Caleb

Remember when you were a kid, thinking up ways to trick a robber into completely ruining his plans? What about the bo staff that sits in the corner collecting dust? Why are you fat instead of 180lbs of muscle? Maybe it’s because you don’t feel like being an ass like those guys from school who throw up all the time. Maybe you’d rather not look like that, but when you need it, absolutely pwn polo-shirt people called Dude-Caleb twice your size.

Well you’re not alone, my friend, and there just might be a solution. Don’t get me wrong – it involves dumbells, but not in the way you might think…

Now, usually when I go to the gym and see people, I think “Wow. Go away.” I mean, we know why they’re here. It’s just an endless line of overly aggressive males doing bicep curls slowly. They all want to look like Arnold. Hell, they even want me to grab that look too…. what with lecturing me, arguing with me and flat out telling me I’m an idiot for doing a dumbell swing. If only they knew…

It’s called CrossFit, and it’s epic. We don’t have videos on PhenForum yet, so you’ll have to visit the real deal over at CrossFit.com, but I can divulge a few tips.

Some Tips:

1. Keep your workouts UNDER 30 minutes long.
2. Take as few breaks as possible. It’s high intensity, short duration!
3. Do high-rep weight training that uses many muscle groups.

Your Results:

1. Make jocks REALLY uncomfortable and watch insecurities come out.
2. Burn fat and build strong lean muscle.
3. See the shock on peoples’ faces when you deadlift 350lbs, and Caleb Lauden can only do 240 when he’s twice your size.

Basically, Crossfit = military-inspired workouts but with added excellentness. This stuff is for people who are serious about achieving ulimate fitness, and looking good is just a side effect instead of the main goal.

So in the style of WickedFire, I say stop being an asshat, open up FireFox and type in CrossFit.com. Let’s get right to the meat of it – click on Exercises and watch those videos where guys and even women do some incredible workouts. I have to say almost any girl who can do 40 pullups in about a minute is HOT.