Okay, you all should know by now that I'm a scale-a-holic! I can't help it, it's just me!!
Friday, I got up and of course weighed and saw for the very first time in probably nearly 16 years... 2-0-2!! I nearly fell off the blasted thing!!
I did my best at ignoring what it said all day. Then hopped back on that night
and saw 203. I was thrilled!!!!
That meant that maybe the 202 that morning was NOT a fluke!! So this morning... back on... 202.1... off... back on... 202.1 hmmm, off... back on... 202.1. Now, according to my college diploma, accounting is my thing. So 3 tries
should be good enough to call it a done deal... yeah, I don't think so!! So I repeat this process a few more times and never once did my
new best friend falter!! I know it's not Tuesday but Friday used to be my weigh in day...
and it was the same yesterday so...
I WEIGH 202.1!!!!!!!!! I have OFFICIALLY lost 30 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!
I flipped! I went bonkers!! Pulled everything out of my closets... I mean
EVERYTHING!!!!! The clothes I took to Jamaica just 4 short weeks ago are now
BIG! There are only like 10 shirts in my closet... the other 40 are on the floor! I no longer have any formal dresses... too
BIG!! I just saw my inches lost for the month of October and the number 13 didn't mean that much to me... but now???? OMG!!!!!!
I was elated to say the least! Until... I got to the back of my closet and pulled out our Boy Scout Leader shirts...
This shirt and I have a love/hate relationship. I smile when I see them because it brings back wonderful memories of watching my son grow and being lucky enough to experience those times with him. I hate that shirt because it was a men's xlarge... I HAD to tuck it in and that was at my heaviest weight ever... 250 pounds.
I should have left them both hanging there, untouched. But I couldn't do it. I pulled mine down and put it on... I could never button the last two buttons... ever... tears began to fall when the shirt swallowed me. Eddie's shirt was hanging next to mine... a men's large. Now, I've had to wear his before and needless to say, 3 buttons on the bottom have never been buttoned when I wore this shirt... they
all buttoned... not only did they button, but the shirt was
NOT pulling on me anywhere! And that's when I lost it...
I curled up on the floor in the fetal position for about 30 minutes crying my eyes out. I was so proud and yet, so damn angry! I was disgusted with myself for being severely obese for so long...
I was angry for wasting so much of my children's lives being their 'fat' mom...
Finally, I jumped up and that's when every single plus sized item I own came out of hiding!! I tried on the first 10 or so, then just started pitching everything that said women's, plus, 16, 18, 1X, 2X... I
COVERED my bedroom floor!!!!
When I ran out of clothes of mine to go through, I peeked into handsome hubby's closet. I have not weighed less than this wonderful man since before I became pg with Brittney... over 20 years ago! I couldn't wear his shirts... forget his jeans! I grabbed a shirt... life is good! Then a pair of his jeans... 36's... hmm...
what the heck! THEY FIT!!!! I ran around the house crying my eyes out dressed in my husbands clothes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, now that you all know that I am mental...
Let me say this. I still have a LONG way to go to get to goal. It's just THIS number holds such meaning to me. I have wondered for years where the line was, going from severely obese to just obese... or overweight... I do believe I've just crossed it...
Brittney just got here so I'm going to run. Know that I'm still crying and I did NOT proof this post... of if there are misspellings or improper grammar... I'll fix them later!!
Thank you... each and every one of you. I'm not even half way there but please know that there was no way I ever would have gotten this far without you. I love you guys!!
