[lucylicious]

This has been bugging me, so I'm just gonna throw it out there, and see if any of you all know what I'm talking about--I have this friend, actually she's my best friend, named Mary. She's extremely thin, and a cute girl, although not a knock out. Anyway, needless to say, verywhere we go, she always attracts attention from guys. Today we were catching coffee downtown and she got whipped cream for free, just because she was flirting with the guys who worked there. I got charged 25 cents extra for a spoon! Anyway, the bottom line is that whenever we go somewhere I feel extremely unattractive because she gets all of the attention. The only guys who whistle at me are old rednecks. It's really infuriating and hurts my self esteem a lot. The worst thing is that I don't feel I'm UNATTRACTIVE at all...and not any less attractive than my friend is. Just when I'm with her I always feel like I am invisible or something...its awful. Just makes me want to lose weight even more--but at the same time it makes me feel like all guys are so superficial and only interested in you if your a skinny rail.

[Ian]

I'm convinced through watching society work around me that almost
all guys are that superficial. Maybe this is happens with every generation,
but still, to me, it's really hard to find love. Love seems to be out, and
the game is in. For most guys I've met, the media determines who
they think are attractive, and even if they did find someone attractive
who is "sub-standard," they'd probably be too insecure to admit it.

Yep, as you can tell, I don't like most guys. I only have a few close
friends, as that is more important to me.

I'm sorry that whenever you go out with your friend, she gets all
the attention. :( I can relate to that in past experiences, although
I do not get attention now, either. I guess I'm just used to it.

When you've reached your weight loss goal, and even on the way there,
I'm sure you'll get alot more attention from guys. Just don't get
wrapped up in their mentality.

[lucylicious]

Thanks for your insight Ian, it's really helpful to me. I tried talking to my Mom and my boyfriend about and they're both really supportive, but in the end I still have to deal with it in my head...and I definitely think more than I should. I do agree that guys are influenced by the media and other guys, and I think it's kind of sad/annoying. This mentality is especially prevalent at my college!!! ...frat guys, etc., just perpetuate this kind of take on physical beauty. Even if I get very thin, I know that I'll never be taken in by guys like that. I think that being slightly overweight has shown me the superficiality of the large majority of men. Like you what I've chosen to do is try to surround myself with good people. I'm not interested in the fickle jerks. Besides, if you are that influenced by society, you can't have much of a mind of your own. Hope this isn't too much of a rant...

[Ian]

It's not too much of a rant. I'm glad to hear someone else agree with me
in depth like that. Ugh.. frat and sorority people... that's part of why I
decided not to go to college. I don't want to deal with that kind of immaturity
all around me. The other reasons I haven't gone to college are lack of funds,
and a lack of courses that have anything to do with my goals in life.

[magenta]

:smileont be upset by the skinny friend,I had a few friends like that.One of them had everything looks tall slim gorgious boyfriend.He had a really well paying job[not that money makes a difference]drove a nice car,treated her like gold!But she was really depressed/low self esteem.She tried to kill herself 3 times!!The third time when her boyfriend left her,couldnt take her depressive moods anymore!She went to councelling to try and sort it out.But she is still the same,up one day,down the next.I dont see her anymore,we had a huge fight,she called me a fat!#*?!You know what,so I told her to never ring me again.She tried to get back in contact with me a few times,but I am not interested.Even if you soposedly have everything,if you are not a happy person on the inside you have nothing. :grin:

[peter]

well..if I come across you while you are with your friend, I'll prefer to make a pass at you and not your friend. :grin:
Jokes apart, personally I don't like very skinny girls..but ya not too heavy as well. Going by your photo I can tell you are pretty enough to attract the attention of guys. As far as your friend is concerned I think its not her skinny body but her flirtuous nature that attracts the guys. You don't need to bother about that..and I don't think there is any need to change oneself just under the influence of others. I don't think those guys are worth your attention so just forget them and be happy with the way you are.

[Ian]

Well said, Peter. Lucy, I know that's part of the reason you wanted to lose
the weight, but not all of it. Keep working at it. I agree with Peter about
your looks, but I just didn't want to say anything like that since I'm supposed
to be all professional here. Lol

[ACE223]

You know I have been on both sides of the guy part. The fat over weight guy that no girl will look at. To the slim guy that got lots of girls. Now let me say... That when I was slim I was "superficial" and disrespectful towards women. B/c a women made me that way. So to take up for the guys not all of us start off bad. And not all of us are still bad. We all have moms that TRIED to raise us right at some point and time. Mind you I am not that way anymore. My wife saved me from that.

From what I can see from you pic (if that is you) then I don't see what to worry about. Or what the prob is in that town of yours. Plus people look at you the way you look at yourself. I know big women that are true pimps... I know the feel though... Use that as your motovation to get where you want to. Plus were here for you!!!!!