[CNSlim]

I am 29, married for 9 years, 3 children (boy 13, boy 8, girl 6). I am Latina (PR) and too is my hubby, age 27.
I had always been 125 lbs. After my first born, I was back in a bikini in 2 months without having to lift a finger to get my body back. After the second child, maybe 3 months and I was again, fit, slim, nice. That time my husband complained I was too skinny, again, no effort, no magic pills, I just thought I was blessed, could punch out babies and bounce right back.
Now, the third one, my girl...that did it. It was her first bday and I was still a plump 160 lbs...cellulite stricken and freaking out because I never had any of this before, I knew I had to do something.
So, I did (a couple years later) when I hit 176, I woke up every morning at 5:00 a.m. and hit the gym faithfully, I was SERIOUS! I lost thirty pounds and was down to 146 in like 2 and a half months..strict diet, serious workouts, no pills!
So, after all three kids, no stretchmarks, still firm, I should've been thankful and kept it up, right?
Well, the stresses of life can break just about anyone...and they took a toll on me, I just felt like 'oh well', I need to be happy and I am still a great woman, size 6 or size 12, I just became comfortable and didn't stress it. This is wear my weight struggles really kicked in. My husband certainly and still to this day, never once said anything about my weight...he was always so accepting of me in this way and I carry it well, porportionately, still kept a small waist, had it all in the rear and finally got busty.

Fast forward to now...my youngest is 6, I am 197 lbs at just over 5'5.
I have been in denial, normally a size 7/8, I had been a size 12 since 1999 after my daughter's birth, until recently my size 12, quickly turned into a 14 and then a size 16, all within 5 months time.
Gaining, gaining, not caring until I had to go somewhere and couldn't fit into any of the trendy, or flirty items in my closet.
I am the oldest of my siblings and always had to be responsible, I think that I just became tired in my own life and adulthood of always having to keep everything together and so I came apart and let myself go. Sometimes, I wish that my husband would have said something brutally honest to open my eyes sooner, but ultimately it is my responsibility to make better choices. :(

My first goal is Christmas....I want to wear something nice to my company party. Next, my birthday in Feb, which is a few days away from Valentines...I want to turn back time by my 30th birthday and look and feel better than ever!
Ultimately, a test of maintaining my weight loss, will be next summer in June for my husband's birthday, (he doesn't know it yet), but I am planning a hawaiian themed party, and want to take a cruise, it would be our first! I know that he doesn't complain, but I am sure his jaw will drop and he'll be one happy guy when he sees his wife look more like that girl he met and fell in love with years ago. I can't wait! :-({|=

My main concern is setting a good example for my kids, especially my daughter. She is already an athlete, little muscle chic and I want her to always take care of herself and challenge herself. I started to think that being conscious about my looks would come off to others as full of myself and wanted people to know the deeper parts of me, not just like me because I have a nice body, so being fuller really humbled me in a way. Now, I understand that it isn't about being vain and I was never vain to want to look nice and stay that way. I realize that not only does it not look so great to be overweight; it doesn't feel good and it doesn't allow me to live a life at my best when I am overweight and sluggish. I look at it now and think, I am only 29, I've had my children, my husband still loves me and wants me, I want to live a long, happy life and be my best for my family and myself. I'll write updates (nowhere near as lenghty as this) :eek: Stay focused everyone!

[zoey]

I know where you're coming from. Always having to take care of others leaves little time for yourself. I am 38 and have been a mother for 22 years. Before that I was the one taking care of the other kids at home. Somewhere we have to realize that to be able to take care of them, we have to take care of ourselves. Sounds like you have wonderful goals. It made me smile to hear you talk about your husband. Mine is the same. I know that he would be happy to see me in a 12 instead of a 22, but all he ever says is how beautiful I am to him. Sometimes I wish he would go ahead and say "yeah, I guess you could lose a few pounds", but then I think back to my first husband who used to tell me that looking at me made him sick to his stomach and made me change clothes in another room or with the lights off. That was when I was a size 13. So, I think I like the unconditional love alot better!

[CNSlim]

Zoe,

Have you and your husband considered gastric bypass? I know that there are huge risk factors, but there are huge benefits also. He is already at risk for heart disease and hate to say it, but an early death. I hear your concern over his weight and it is very beautiful. I really hope that he will try, husbands can be stubborn.

My husband has always said that I still look good to him and I have a hard time with that because he is 6'2, 220 lbs of muscle and very athletic, not overweight at all. So, as I've gained I have been almost embarrassed, I keep thinking a hunk like him should have a 'hot babe' on his arm (granted I used to be a cutie). I have been lucky, men are visual, a lot of them will lose interest at a woman's weight gain and express it. My husband has loved me literally through thick and thin.
Your ex sounds like a real ass and I betcha anything he wasn't all that himself to talk to you that way.
It is unacceptable either way. There are so many beautiful people who don't necessarily fit society's image of perfect or beautiful and some people are just hurtful and shallow.
Good luck with your continued progress and again, best of everything on the issue of your husband's fitness.
Thanks for the support.

[zoey]

Yeah, ex was skinny to the extreme. 6'1" at 140 lb. I am not considering any surgery for me, because I truly believe I can do it myself. For John, however, we have considered it. He is 6'4" and weighs 435. The only reason we aren't commiting to it is because they are saying that his risk of problems with anesthesia is higher than normal due to his weight. The doctors actually told him that his chances for successful surgery will be much better if he loses 100 pounds first. I couldn't stop laughing. If he had no problems losing 100 pounds then why would we even conside surgery after that. Sometimes doctors just don't make sense.

[CNSlim]

Ha, yeah...H E L L O, if I could lose 100 pounds on my own just like that why would I need gastric bypass?
Well, I can see why his doctor would be concerned. Wow, I don't know how you would get through that.
All that I can say is stick by him and keep loving him. Some people just have to get fed up with themselves and until he truly decides that it is time to get serious, there isn't much you can do except keep healthy food at home and feel good that you are NOT contributing to his health issue, if he huffs and puffs cause you didn't fry the chicken, TOUGH! He WILL get over it, as they say, this too shall pass.