My husband bought me CHOCOLATE!

**ladyzeta6** · 10-12-2009, 12:11 PM

***vent***

I am sooo upset. This weight loss means a whole lot to me. So far in 2 1/2 weeks I am down 20 lbs (with a long way to go) and am very proud of how I am doing. My husband, to be fair, likes me as is. He thinks I look great, which is nice, but buying me chocolate will set me waaaay back. It's a serious weakness of mine. He also bought my favorite, Lindt. The bag is sitting at home on my dresser. I haven't had any of it, but it is VERY tempting! I can't give it to him (diabetic) and my daughter needs not eat it (6yo). Hubby is 150 lbs at 6 feet so he really doesn't understand how I feel. I try explaining that I went from 122 lbs to...this...and though I don't need to be 122 lbs since I am 5'8" and in my mid-30's, but I'd be happy at 135-140 lbs. I'd feel bad saying something to him about it, since he was buying it because he thought I'd like it, but on the other hand, he knows what I am trying to do. I thought about eating one per day, but that's 75 calories each and a slippery slope for me. I have to vent here, because if I told my mom, I think she'd call my husband!

AAAARGH!

**pigpen065** · 10-12-2009, 05:43 PM

Oh....I can SO relate to what you are saying! lol!! My hubby does NOT understand why I am so set on losing this weight....he is the same way...loves me just the way I am which is wonderful on one hand, but not helpful on the other. Whenever I make a comment about not being able to eat something that is not on my diet he just does not get it and says that I ought to just have what I want and forget about it! Ugh!

One thing I try to remember is that men don't always look at themselves the way women do...sorry gentlemen, but it is true, and I don't mean EVERY man, just most, in general....and their perspective on appearances are 100% different than ours. Like I said, one one hand that is a good thing, because it allows them to love us no matter what we look like, but on the other hand, it also makes it hard for us to convince them why we are trying so hard to, in our opinion, improve ourselves.

As frustrating as it might be....he really doesn't understand your desire to lose weight because he truly does not see you the way you see you. (wish I could see me the way my hubby sees me! lol!) So telling him that you are trying to lose weight doesn't mean anything to him, really. The best thing....and going on what has worked for me and my hubby here, so may not work for everyone!....is to kiss him on the cheek, thank him for being so thoughtful, but tell him that you are going to save them because you are just not hungry for them right now. Put them away somewhere....give them to a friend or neighbor or your childs teacher...anything to get them away from where you can get at them! lol! Because if they are stashed away somewhere in the house...you will know they are there and they will start calling your name! lol!!

If you tell him they are not on your "diet" it will not make sense to him. If you just say thank you and tell him you don't really feel like eating them right now, he still feels he has done something nice, which he has.

And don't feel bad about venting about this kind of thing here...that is what we are here for...most of us have had something or another that got us riled up!

Don't let it get to you! You are doing great!!

**mzcris** · 10-12-2009, 08:58 PM

Hi Ladyzeta I know exactly how you feel....our hubbies can be very thoughtful but sometimes the timing can be a little off. I would keep it but put in the freezer and eat a piece later on in your journey when you are stronger. I know what you are going thru; certains foods sets me off too...be strong lady

And welcome

**nygrlathrt** · 10-13-2009, 07:40 PM

Im with you all...my husband constantly tells me how good i look and do i want to go for icecream!!

I have to admit it was more "fun" being able to go out and not scrutinize over the menu and say yes to a cocktail instead of "lemon and water please" but I guess i said yes too much and it got me 40 pounds overweight!

So as kind and loving as our husbands are, we have to be strong ....this to will pass and give away those chocolate or freeze them...

dark chocolate later is actually good but of course only and ounce...which is like chips ...You can't eat just one...

Men.....

**susanpesek** · 10-14-2009, 12:09 AM

Oh, man! I relate, too. They have a Dairy Queen here that sells 2 small cups with chocolate shell, for $3 total. I was sick at my tummy yesterday and had some without the chocolate, but still feel fine with it. He was trying. Thats what counts.
I freeze my chocolate so that I have to make a planned, deliberate choice to have it thaw before eating.

**ladyzeta6** · 10-15-2009, 01:50 PM

Lots of excellent advice here. Thanks ladies! The downside of all this, is that I will never be able to eat whatever I want and stay thin. I know it's unreasonable to want that, but I do feel that way. Meanwhile my thin husband can eat whatever he wants, though food in general is not an issue for him. I resolve to work my way through this. I don't want extra weight to make me look older. Hubby is 36 and literally could pass for early 20's. I think that is primarily because he is thin and doesn't have the belly and other physical charactistics that make people look older with age. I am trying to let that be my focus to help me through this journey.

**pigpen065** · 10-15-2009, 02:32 PM

ladyzeta, it is very frustrating to think that we will always have to monitor our calories and diet. I know that there are definately times when I think that it is just so totally not fair that I should struggle with this and some people never do. The only thing that makes me feel better when I think of these things is the fact that, even though I may have to struggle, I am doing it not only for me but for my family. God gives us all our own trials to face...and I figure if this is all that I have to bear for Him...life is good because He did a heck of a lot more for me!

Chin up, and keep your eye on the prize! You WILL get there!

**findingme4me** · 10-27-2009, 02:50 PM

Use the chocolate to bake him some cookies that he can take to work and share with his coworkers! tell him go fatten someone else up... im bringing sexy back!