Looking for a buddy

**dcarnes3** · 09-17-2007, 06:02 PM

I just started today and need all the buddies I can get so I would love to be your buddy.

**nylon** · 09-17-2007, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by turtle9828

Nylon I see you lost a nother pund 8 more pounds to go Good job!
I agree with you, this is not baby fat I am packing around. Now I am torn about loosing it all then getting pg again. I just dont want my kids so far apart and my husband is one of those types that it is now or never. So if I hold off getting pregnant to long it might not happen again. It was really hard on him when I misscarried in may. This also happened before we had Julia. Then when he was ready to start trying again I decide to "reclaim" my body. He wsa upset but understands. So we will re evaluate in Spring and go from there.

Um I am lost on the uncle statement though

Oh turtle I don't know how old you but I would guess from your pic you are in your mid 20's and have a lot of time for more babies. I understand about the miscarriage sweetie as I had experienced the same thing. But the main thing is that you gave birth to a child already so you know that you can get preggo again.

With that try to keep in mind when a woman gets pregnant they should **try** to be in the best shape they can possibly be (as you know) pregnancy takes a toll on our bodies and having extra weight prior to pregnancy can cause so many other complications. Perhaps reiterate, communicate and remind your husband of those complications in a gentle manner.

As for how your husband feels I will not tell you how to handle that as that is your decision. So he's upset a bit as long as he understands as you say he does things will be ok. For the now or never well events that occur in one's life happen for a reason. There is a cause and effect for every single event that happens in one's life and sometimes we cannot see the positive only the negative. Perhaps having a child so fast is not meant right now. Perhaps it is but only you can control that to a certain point as I am a firm believer the events that happen in one's life and in which order they succeed happen for a reason. And I am sure the answer will come to you when things seem a bit more clear if they seem fuzzy for you at the moment.

But I will say that for a man to be upset that his wife does not want to get pregnant just yet whether it be emotionally or physically is being a bit selfish with his expectations. As it is the WOMAN who carrying this child in HER belly for over 9 months not the MAN. (pregnancy is over 9 months +; 40 gestational weeks in not 9 months!) Doing this does not come so easy to some woman. So a husband must be respectful of his wife's wishes. If not, then get him knocked up and let him get fat w/stretch marks all over his body!!

As for loosing it all only to having to go through it again. BELIEVE me I understand.....and struggled with it when I did not make my goal date. I thought I would have been ready this summer..well as I kept on losing weight and looking more and more like me (but also hitting a lot of plateaus along the way) I needed to reevalute the situation, how I felt and why. I had a discussion with my husband and told him under no certain terms will we get pregnant again until I am good and ready and have accomplished my goal. He understood and that was the end of it. And if that means I have another summer baby (which I vowed NEVER to again because I am such a summer/beach girl and it killed me in 2003 that I was not able to wear my bikini, hip shorts, etc.) so be it. I was unrealistic with my goal and the amount of weight I needed to lose in the time frame that I had allotted myself. Try to keep the time frame in mind because if you want to get pregnant in the Spring and have not reached your goal you have a decision to make; whether to continue on with your weight loss or get pregnant. If you do the latter you also have to make a promise to yourself that you will not regret not having making you goal weight and be ok with it internally...Because not being ok with stuff internally will eat at you, your relationships and creates resentment sometimes down the road..

I hope this helps you a bit.

I don't want to make light out of the pregnancy issue but these are two very important subjects for woman that at times may collide with one another.

**turtle9828** · 09-17-2007, 06:38 PM

Dcarnes- Welcome to the group these people are great!

Nylon- I guess I should rephrase things. He was dissapointed when I told him we were going to wait as was I I mean it was a really hard decision. He supports my decision and understands. We will just wait until spring and see what happens. And yep I cam a youngster at 28

My husband is almost 35. than you so much for all the insight an response. I really appreciate it

**nylon** · 09-17-2007, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by turtle9828

Dcarnes- Welcome to the group these people are great!

Nylon- I guess I should rephrase things. He was dissapointed when I told him we were going to wait as was I I mean it was a really hard decision. He supports my decision and understands. We will just wait until spring and see what happens. And yep I cam a youngster at 28

My husband is almost 35. than you so much for all the insight an response. I really appreciate it

Well that is understandable...But the main thing is that he supports your decision which is WONDERFUL. Oh god, you have loads of time girlfriend. I am 11 yrs. older than you and my husband is in his early 40's!!

I am glad to give some insight..

Dcarnes hop on board.. sorry didn't not see your post which was after my response.

**turtle9828** · 09-17-2007, 07:14 PM

So Nylon will you post before and after pics?

**nylon** · 09-17-2007, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by turtle9828

So Nylon will you post before and after pics?

Of what? Me before I was pregnant and after? Or me just me (not pregnant) but fat and a current pic? If you go in my journal I posted a fat pic of me and a current one just last week. There's also a pic of me very, very pregnant too in my first journal entry..

P.S. By the way that saying, "and Bob's your uncle" is a British slang. I guess the best way to describe would be....."viola" or "and that's it"

**turtle9828** · 09-17-2007, 08:07 PM

Okay I will go search for the pics

I just want to see you progress. I mean I know you;ve done GREAT but I love looking at befoer and after pics.

**turtle9828** · 09-17-2007, 08:11 PM

I just checked out your pics. I cant beleive you are ONLY 11 years older then me. You look Great!