[Darlin218]

I have title my diary "Emerging from the Cocoon" which suits me perfectly.
Aside from being "a protective case of silk or similar fibrous material spun by the larvae of moths and other insects that serves as a covering for their pupal stage" - a cocoon is also defined:
"To envelop in or as if in a cocoon, as for protection from a harsh or unfriendly environment.
or To retreat as if into a cocoon, as for security from a harsh or unfriendly environment."

I find myself retreating to my 'cocoon' quite often. I try to stay in my friendly and well known environment rather than venturing out into the world. My husband loves to go out. He likes to travel, climb mountains, go to amuzement parks, loves playing sports, and even things like going out to hear live music or performing karaokee. I, on the other hand, like to be home (mostly sitting) or I like to go out shopping or something where I don't actually have to do much of anything.
I actually feel that my dear sweet husband, who loves me and supports every little whim that I have, is just too good to be seen out in public with me. Often times I literally feel sorry for him that I no longer do the things that he would love to do.
When we first started dating, 8 years and 80 pounds ago, I was very active and often had to plead with him to go out. As time has progressed I have gotten way to comfortable and have just let myself go.
I would love it if next time I went to Cancun or even to the grocery store to feel great about myself.

I've never been the type of person to walk with my head down, or act as if my weight bothered me - I have always been very positive and outgoing - I've had long enough to accept the fact that this is just me.... but right now it bothers me and it is effecting my attitude and I want to still be me but a much smaller version of myself. Which is why I have started the Phentermine with all of the hope in the world that I will not only lose tons of weight but that I will begin to eat right for life.
I am incorporating my weight watchers knowledge along with my doctor's suggestions and trying my best to eat better.
I worry about my health a lot. I am only 27 and my bloodwork showed that my chlorestoral and triglicerides (please pardon my spelling) are high. My mother had a heart attack when she was 41 and so far I am on the same path. I would at least like to be in better shape when I get to that age than she was - just in case. (Now, by-the-way, she is doing great!)

Anyhow, I have been on the Pills for 16 days and am down like 7 pounds so far. I have had 2 B12 shots and will be getting one every 28 days when I go to the doctor, and I have been drinking more water than was reccomended, my eating habbits have drastically changed ~ all that's left is to start getting more excersize (WHICH IS MY GOAL FOR THIS WEEK)

Until next time
~Tina~

[ACE223]

"all that's left is to start getting more excersize (WHICH IS MY GOAL FOR THIS WEEK)"

I know that getting started can be a bit scary. Have you looked into an all womens type place to help you along with your excersize? I know my mother-in-law had alot of issue with excersing. Then she found a place called Curves (mind you I am in TX) and they only messed with women. Now she has had some really nice results. Just something that popped into my mind :grin:

[lucylicious]

Hey Tina,
I think you're doing a great job. I can really relate to what you say about your weight affecting whether you want to go out and be seen by people, etc. My boyfriend is also very active and into extreme sports--skateboarding, snowboarding, etc., so sometimes it's hard for me because I don't feel like I have the energy to do something or I don't want people to judge my body, but at the same time I want to because I don't want to let my boyfriend down or have him think I'm lazy. What I've found is that the sooner you stop caring about what people think and GET OUT THERE and walk around, do stuff, etc., the sooner you will start losing weight, and the sooner you'll start feeling better about yourself. You can't just give up on doing things because you're overweight. I also find that the more I force myself to get out there and be seen and do things, the more it drives me to want to lose weight so that with time I will feel even better about myself and really WANT to do physical things. When you stay at home to avoid having people see your body, etc., it gives you more opportunity to KEEP eating, sitting on the couch, etc...and in the end that only makes you more unhappy, you know what I mean? Anyway, just wanted to throw in my two cents. I used to deal with the same things, but I've forced myself to change my lifestyle--the way I eat, the amount of exercise I do, etc., because in the end I know that losing weight will make me feel better about myself and my body, and that overeating and staying at home will only contribute to making me feel more miserable. Just imagine how nice it will be to be slim and want to go out with your husband and do fun things again! Let that be your motivation. Good luck and keep us posted!!