Things can only get better from here

**zoey** · 08-23-2005, 06:14 PM

I told him that I am doing this for me and not anybody else. I explained that I love him very much and I want us to be together for a long time. I told him that the better health we are both in will only make our relationship better because we can do more together and live a longer life together. I told him that he needs to learn to believe in me and trust me because if he can't, then we have no marriage. I refuse to live anymore of my life dealing with unhappiness that I don't have to. I told him to think about what's important to him and make a choice. If he wants to be married to me he will have to trust and believe in me. He called me about 3 hours later and apologized and said he really does trust me. I told him I think we really need to get some relationship counseling. He says ok but he has said that before and then he blows it off.

**NeedtoLose** · 08-24-2005, 01:24 AM

zoey,
My husband has done some similar things along the way. He would encourage me and then tempt me with my favorite food and guilt trip me about how I was getting too obcessed. I never knew what to expect from him or if I should stop telling him how much I was losing etc. We are in marriage counseling...it has really helped.

My husband was just confused about how he felt about me changing. He was happy that I would be healthier and more attractive, but then at the same time he wanted me to share late night McD's with him, etc. I tried to include him in stuff...like taking the dogs for a walk, etc.

You have done the right thing telling him how important this is to you. Make sure that he understands that if he loves you, he needs to support you in this.

**zoey** · 08-24-2005, 03:12 AM

Thanks for the lift. I really love him and I know that he loves me too. I know that he doesn't really believe that I would ever be unfaithful to him, it's just past issues with ex and he has always said that he didn't understand what I see in him. I have told him that my love for him has nothing to do with any physical appearance. Of course when I try to talk to him about losing weight he thinks it's because I am embarrased by how he looks. I wish I knew the words to get him to understand that I worry about his health. I want him to live with me for many more years and I am very afraid that at the rate he's going I'm gonna get a call someday that he was found dead in his truck or in a truck stop shower. It happens all the time.

**magenta** · 08-24-2005, 01:03 PM

:( I hope things work out for you,I would be worried about him driving the truck all over the place.
He really needs to change his job,its never going to be good for his health sitting/driving for hours at a time.I know truck driving[long distance] is good money,but his health is more important.Being home more and time to exercise/eat right is what he needs.You must really miss him when he is gone for long periods!You two need to sit down and talk this all out.I hope things work out ok for you both.

**zoey** · 08-24-2005, 05:59 PM

Thanks Magenta. Yeah I do miss him. He's gone for 2 weeks at atime and then home for 2 days. Problem is even thoughI miss him, I've gotten used to it. Usually by the middle of his 2nd day home we both start getting irritable.We'll work it out. We always do. And in the end I usually get my way. I just wish it didn't take so much fighting to get to there. Well, my weight loss seems to be doing well. Not so well on the smoking. I am doing better but I can't seem to just stop. I started writing down each time I grab a cigarette and seeing what causes me to want one. My biggest problem times are boredom or arguing with hubby. Of course the ones I have the most problem with giving up are when I wake up and after meals. I have now gotten myself to about 5 a day. Not bad coming from 30 a day.

**magenta** · 08-25-2005, 09:00 AM

:grin:Giving up smoking is one of the hardest addictions to give up.Its considered as hard to concor as heroin addiction.
Trying to do both that AND lose weight is a very hard task indeed.I would do one at a time if it were me.I used to smoke about 6yrs ago,I stopped because I was planning to get pregnant in 12mths time.I didnt try to diet at the same time,I would have went nuts.
I thought smoking when pregnant was worse than being fat when pregnant.Of course giving up smoking makes you eat more to compensate,a vicious cycle.But kicking the habit first was the best way to go for me anyway.One bad habit gone and now my only other major vice,eating too much/wrong foods.
It sounds as thou you are coping by cutting back,you are stronger than me and you deserve a medal girl!
Have you tried the nicorette gums or patches,Ive heard they are good.Good Luck!! 8)

**zoey** · 08-25-2005, 11:00 AM

Thank you, thank you! I have tried the patches before. The problem is they only relieve the nicotine issue. There's also the need to keep your hands busy, the oral fixation(I really have a problem with that). So, I found myself wearing the patch and still smoking. VERY BAD!!! Anyway, I will get there on both goals. It's a shame we can pick up bad habits so easily but it so hard to put them back down.

**zoey** · 08-26-2005, 01:09 AM

I found FitDay.com yesterday and I'm really impressed with it. I started it yesterday afternoon and since I have been logging all my activities and eating. What I found out made me really happy. I have never considered myself to be a healthy eater but I am doing better than I realized. Seeing the reports showed me where I need to cut back and what I need to increase. For example it showed how my intake compares to the RDA and I need to increase my intake of Vitamins A,D,E,C and Calcium, Magnesium and Folic Acid. I know that increasing my dairy will help. I think Folic Acid I get from the dark greens. I'll have to check on that. Ok I like spinach if I can put some vinegar on it. Not sure about the Magnesium and Vitamin E. Anybody have any suggestions? If I could remember to take my vitamins every day it would help alot. Good think I got my tubes tied after my last baby. I sure can't remember to take a pill every day!!