[NolezGirl]

I finally got my pills in the mail this week! YAY! For some reason I have been procrastinating when it comes to taking them, I think that I'm a little scared.

I have had weight issues for most of my life. I have suffered from COE and now I have been diagnosed with bulimia which isn't fun. My goal is to not purge and use these pills instead. I do workout 5-6 days a week for about 45-90 min of cardio and some pilates.

I've been counting calories and am trying to average 1200 a day after workouts.

I want to lose about 60 pounds at a rate of about 10 lbs a month. I'm planning on counting the cals and continuing my workouts. I am hoping to eliminate my grazing behaviour and my purging.

I am weighing in tomorrow morning and will officially start tomorrow so I will post all of that information then.

My weeks are hard b/c I travel Monday - Thursday on business, but I can beat this excess weight and I will!

I really hope that this stuff helps me out, I really do!

I'm looking forward to this journey and getting to know everyone on here! And here's a pic of a face to put with a name...




(the baby is my nephew, I am 26, single)

Jill

[NolezGirl]

ACK! I just realized that every sentence it seems starts with "I"...how icky!

[NolezGirl]

Day 1 is well underway! It's now almost lunch time.

The day started out fairly normally for me. I woke up and took my pill. Then I laid in bed and read for about 30 minutes. I got out of bed completely meaning to eat a bowl of grits (100 cals) but the next thing I knew I was sitting on the couch with a spoon devouring the rest of a tub of ice cream!!!! AGH! Good intentions dont' necessarily lead to good actions. I opted to head out to the gym instead.

My gym visit was very productive. I am already noticing some differences. Normally I do 45-60 minutes on the elliptical per session. My 60 min session normally will burn between 715 and 737 cals. This morning my first 60 min burned 777 cals...YAY!!!! I then decided that I wasn't done, so I got on for 30 more min. I only finished 10 of that, mainly b/c I was afraid that I was over doing it and still plan on doing Pilates tonight. I ended up burning 904 cals in 70 min. It was a great day and I definately redeemed myself in terms of the ice cream.

Strength training is where I have been lacking. I am thinking about doing cardio in the AM and then doing weights in the PM. My current routine is to do cardio and some strength all at night, but then I get so worn out with cardio that I don't want to do weights.

My plan for the rest of today is to pick up, clean out the fridge, and, unfortunately, work.

I weighed myself this morning. I was at 202 (I had never broken 200 until this month). I am ok with it b/c I know that I will never weigh this much again.

I am off to drink more water and defunk myself (that's code for showering!).

Side Note: periodically I will mention my ED, before I am asked, yes, I am in counseling for this, my therapist likes for me to be open about it b/c she thinks that once it's not some big secret it'll be easier to tackle...it's not so easy to do in real life, but message boards offer a bit of anonymity so at times I will be open about this. If this in any way triggers someone then I will stop, just let me know. Also, I just want to say this up front, I will not give out any tips regarding purging. It's a sick cycle, one that I never thought that I would get sucked into but now that I have, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. :-D

[NolezGirl]

It's finally the end of Day #1.

I have felt fine all day which is a relief. Earlier on in the day I was zipping around but it eventually kinda evened out. It was much easier to complete everything on my to-do list than normal.

I ended up eating 1558 calories total. I burned 904 calories. That leaves a total of 654 calories that I ingested but didn't burn off.

I am going to take my dogs for a walk, watch some TV and then pack. I'm planning on weighing myself in the AM just to see. I am pretty immune to the fluctuations of the scale.

Oh...I've also had over 100 oz of water today. The more I drink the more I want. Such a nice change.

[NolezGirl]

Day 2 is coming to an end.

The day started out great. I hopped out of bed, took my pill and jumped on the scale (maybe I lightly stepped...I don't want to break it!). The scale read 200.4 which means that I lost 1.6 in my first day. YAY! Go me!

I splurged by having 2 cookies before breakfast which wasted 220 cals. I counted them though. Right now I am at 1166 cals for the day which isn't bad.

The day then got worse. I flew to San Antonio (where I am Monday - Thursday). Once I got to my client site I was IMing with one of my closest friends. We are romantic in several ways and have kept it on the friends level b/c he's still recovering from a bad breakup...or so I thought. He had been skiing that weekend with a group of friends, apparently one of them is more than just a friend now. He told me today that things are getting serious between them. So yet again I have been rejected. I really don't understand men. I guess that I am just the type of girl that men want to sleep with but don't want to date. With every guy I think that things will be different, and for a while it might be, but then it all ends up the same.

Enough of that sob story. I am happy to say that I didn't binge AT ALL. I drank over 100 oz of water. I haven't purged at all (which is amazing at a time like this). Tonight I am going to allow myself one vice. I have a friend here in town and I am going to go get a Bloody and Bruised Martini (a martini that tastes like a bloody mary). I'm just going to have one and that will bring my daily caloric intake up to 1326 which still isn't bad. I didn't work out today since it's a traveling day (too hard when I have to get up so early to catch a plane). Tomorrow I plan on getting another workout in.

So...a recap

lost 1.6 YAY
lost a man BOO
drank all my water YAY
cookies b4 breakfast? BOO

Until tomorrow...

Jill

[NolezGirl]

Day 3 got off to an unexpectedly good start!

For some reason I popped out of bed at 5:30 am wide eyed and bushy tailed. So, like any sane person, I went to the gym!!! I did 30 min on the treadmill and burned 246 cals and then I spent 15 minutes and focused on my upper body. So yay! This works out great b/c I think that I have a dinner meeting tonight so I was worrying about not being able to get my workout in.

I am a bit concerned about the pill wearing off too early. As long as it gets me through until about 4 I'll be good. I don't tend to eat big dinners or snack at night, it's the day time that kills me! Yesterday I didn't even want to go to the vending machine and I hope that I feel the same way today. I feel so much more focused on teh whole weight loss endeavor...eating healthier, exercising more, right frame of mind.

Day 2 ended as I had planned. I had my one martini and that was it! It was tempting to get another one but I stuck with water instead. The calories just weren't worth it.

I hope that everyone has a great day!!!

[nickdsgrl]

You are such a beautiful girl. I really hope you overcome your bulimia. I know its a hard struggle and I am very glad you are seeking help for it. My sister did it for 14 years several times a day. She told me that is was the only thing in her life that she had control over. It was all a mental thing with her. She has recently stopped and I know you can get through it too. Good luck to you and your weight loss. You are off to a great start.

[jdysmom]

Hey Jill,
Sounds like you are off to a great start! Pardon my stupidity, but what is COE? Phen has been really good for me, I still eat some sweets, but most of the time, I don't eat as much because the meds make them not taste as good. The hardest part for me is the portions. I know I don't need a huge amount but for some reason when I don't put it on my plate and try to be good, I still end up going back for seconds. I did really well the first 6 months I was on the Phen, but since the holidays I have gotten week. BUT that's ok, my husband bought me an exercise ball and I'm intending to use it! Time is a challenge also...I'm a stay at home mom with 2 under the age of 3...Who don't sleep long during the day!
BUT...God is good and with HIM I can do all things! I'll pray for you to have strength with your battle!

Carla